NOT WHAT WE EXPECTED

Hello friends, it’s been awhile since Steve and I have posted stories of our Grand Adventures. There have certainly been some stories worth telling…and maybe in the weeks to come a few of them will find their way to this page. 

We expected to begin our adventure stories again October 14th as we headed back to Mexico for a month. Staying in a new neighborhood in Chapala, and experiencing for the first time the amazing traditions of Dia de los Muertas, Day of the Dead. If you haven’t watched the movie Coco, just do it. And then do a little google research. You will definitely be touched by the beauty and the stories and the richness of culture. 

However; in the last six weeks our own journey has taken a few major twists and turns. We are sad to tell you that Steve has been diagnosed with rectal cancer. His rigorous 6-month treatment regime begins Thursday, October 3rd. Not the adventure we expected. But the road we will travel. 

We invite you to walk alongside us, if you wish, as we explore this great time of un-knowing. 

I don’t expect our writings to be linear. More likely, they will jump back and forth guided by memories as well as fresh insights or challenges. Beauty. Awe. Confusion and Humor… quotes, poems, bad jokes, amazing pictures, and some head-scratching await!

This blog will be the space where each of us…Steve and me…communicate present moment awareness, and with gratitude explore the complexities of living fully this one life we’re given.  

We have several daily rituals. If you want to join us (from afar) in an evening ritual you could use Spotify or however you find music and play John Rutter’s “A Gaelic Blessing” (DeepPeace)

Our Ritual:

Sometime between 8:00-9:00 pm (est) we simply light a candle, sit quietly, close eyes, and listen. 

Naturally, you could do this anytime of day. Or skip the music and just take a moment in the evening to send the words “Deep Peace to you, Steve” our way. 🥰 🙏 ❤️

We both REALLY feel this positive energy and I can’t tell you how much it means to both of us!!! This is a time of day when we pause from the doing and really open our hearts to your love, support and presence. 

AND FROM STEVE:

 DEEP SUFFERING 

The most fertile ground for deep peace is deep suffering. I am a cheapskate. I don’t like to pay for things, except when there are deals, I hate to be overcharged.

When I’m in the airport I go into hyper-mode. You make one false move and you’ve left your cell phone or your passport or your glasses. Often day flights leave at six or 7 am, which means you’re getting up at 3 o’clock in the morning. It’s amazing how many people you see at the airport at 4 am.  I don’t exactly understand this phenomenon. It seems like flying at 10 o’clock in the morning would be a lot easier.

A few months ago Debbie and I encountered a situation where deep suffering and deep joy are possible. Accidentally she had entered my name on the passport page as Steven Erickson…one letter off. At 4:30 in the morning we discovered the error and went to the delta airlines desk.

”Oh, we can fix that, but it will cost you $50 and I need to make a telephone call. At 5:30 we found out that a telephone call wouldn’t do it and that we had to call the Airlines. 

Debbie quickly got her boarding pass and headed for the gates and I got out my phone and listened to yet another recording. Would you rather talk on WhatsApp, press two…would you like to talk in English, press one….. after pressing about 10 different buttons I got to speak to someone who is not from this country. We conversed in his heavy accent, and after asking him to repeat himself a number of times I found out that the airplane was already on the tarmac and that he could not help me board the plane even though there were many empty seats on the plane. One little letter….

If I’d  gotten to him 15 minutes earlier he could change that one letter in my passport application. Oh, and by the way (just a little salt in the wound) that discount airline you bought your ticket on will not give you a refund because you bought it last night.  If you’d bought it seven days ago you could get your $500 refund.  I didn’t need a ticket 7 days ago!

The flight or fight response in my brain wanted to run out of the airport,  jump in my car and say I never want to be in this craziness again. My higher self said that my sister in surgery needed me. So off I went to buy another ticket ….it’s just money, but for a working class guy $500 is a lot of money.   

During the 45 minutes that Debbie stood in line I knew that my anger and frustration were inappropriate to the situation. I walked over to a quiet spot and dove into the pain. 

For me, the reality is that this world is a dream. Aside from acting with integrity and honesty and respect. Nothing on earth can hold me. Nothing can hold my consciousness, relationships, situation, winning and losing… all the dualities of life are illusory. I am a traveler and observer. And a participant. But I do not have to be attached to any results.  

My mantra that day became “I will carry peace wherever I go”   

This place of deep peace was recently threatened when I got my diagnosis of the bigC.  For one thing,  my ass has been sore for over 2 months so who wants to sit on their ass and breathe and meditate. Doctors told me some scary s___ about my treatment plan. Change in diet, tests, needles in my arm, stuck inside behemoth machines, loss of control over my body. ALREADY lost 20 pounds before the treatment even begins.

So it seemed I had two ways to see it. My choice:

1. I drew the disaster card..really bad luck, jumping out of a building on fire kind of luck. 
2. Really a blessing….better food, closer family connections, a handicap parking pass, hiring people to finish my tiny house, a chance to share my story and my faith in a more real way.

Yes, it’s great to write spiritual b.s. when you’re vacationing in a Mexican paradise. In my condition,  it’s little more believable to talk about beauty and appreciation and our souls-journey. And I am talking about some spiritual woo-woo. The stuff that Jesus and Buddha talked about. The idea that consensus reality is illusory falls into the field of mysticism.

 I can enter this field through my breath and meditation.  Two years ago I would’ve told you that’s ridiculous. Why would some form of breathing allow you to experience consciousness in a different way. Or my belief in life-after -life. How could anyone really know?

76 years ago I appeared in this world. My dad the son of a South Dakota butcher and my mom daughter of a small town brick layer and road builder, when mules were the horsepower. Depression kids that believed in a better life. I was skinny and shy. Funny and fun only to people close to me. 76 years after birth….I’ve lived a magical, enchanted life and this diagnosis is part of the magic. I am a lucky man ❤️❤️