Author: mooonbaby

THE BOAT IS ROCKING

My first agenda arriving in Mexico is to deal with culture shock. There’s an expression…. it’s Mexico,….. which means that a lot of unexpected things happen. For me I experience a flood of changes both outside and inside that rock my boat, my tiny little egoic brain struggles to bring order to the chaos, but then there’s more and more chaos. The rowboat of consciousness starts to rock strongly and can feel dangerously close to tipping over for me. This happened on our flight to Guadalajara. Here’s the story…..

Leaving from Raleigh gave a hint of the day to come. Our driver Andy took a wrong turn in the new construction around the airport and we found ourselves driving between construction cones and going away from the airport. It was a sign that we were in for adventure. 

When we got on the plane at Atlanta, the Delta agent told us that we might get turned around at Mexico City because we didn’t buy a return ticket.

I started sweating it, but I wasn’t going to buy another ticket. When we got through customs without problems in Mexico City I said wheeeee!!!!!

We did have one big surprise when we got to Mexico City, We were asked for our boarding pass, and we didn’t have one so we had to go out of the airport and check in again. To our surprise they bumped us off of the flight to Guadalajara. They said we bought the cheapo tickets and that’s why they bumped us off. We always buy the cheapo tickets so that didn’t make sense. We learned we’d been placed on standby and there were 15 other people  ahead of us on the standby list.

I told Debbie to start crying and she wouldn’t …..so I did. 

They were going to put us in a hotel in Mexico City and schedule a flight out the next day. 

“But our bags are already on the plane”  I whimpered. “ And we have travelers insurance so you’ll have to pay for our hotel and our meals and our cab”

I hate taking taxis, because my mother told me never to get in the car with strangers.

I put on my big boy pants and imagined that she was mother Mary, and said, what would you do if you were in our situation. After a few minutes she took pity on us and she moved us up to first place on the standby list   Which was very nice of her since we had booked the flight 5 months earlier. All 15 of us Standby people made the flight.  Relieved and happy. 

What’s the lesson? There is none. It’s Mexico. And we are here 🎉🍀🎉🎈❤️❤️❤️

A WILD RIDE

It always makes me nervous to be too prepared. On Wednesday,  before we flew to Mexico on Sunday, we congratulated ourselves for being DONE. Even our bags were packed. Just a short list of last minute to-do’s. Nothing major. Then the craziness began. Our well pump stopped working. No water for around 30 hours. We received last minute requests for repairs at a rental house. My dermatologist insisted I order medication to use as soon as we got to Mexico. The problem was the meds would arrive Monday and we flew out Sunday. You get the drift. Still we managed to tie-up the loose ends with a sense of humor. We hummed “we get by with a little help from our friends”

Sunday morning arrived and…

Thus began…Our typical adventure. 

I felt a little confused when I did the online check-in and they said the check-in was complete, but couldn’t issue boarding passes. The story began to unfold when we were told in Atlanta that they might refuse entry in Mexico City since we didn’t book our return flight in advance. They still wouldn’t issue boarding passes and made our remaining flights stand-by status. 

Let the good times roll!!!

We got bumped in Mexico City, had to go outside the terminal and enter again, go to special services to plead our case, learned there were 15 people on stand-by and this was the last flight of the night!!!

Thankfully we are seniors thus ensuring great respect in the Mexican culture. And I had purchased flight insurance. Eventually the AeroMexico desk clerk said she would list us as #1 and #2 on the wait list. Hope!!! Then we made the run back through check-in and waited with LOTS of people to learn our fate. Steve DID NOT want to take a taxi out into Mexico City at midnight 😫. Ditto! 

Long story short…we made it. 

Mostly because we were on AeroMrxico and they are so nice 🥰. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers. Or the power of raw hope. 

All along the way we were communicating in rusty Spanish with our driver, friend Sandy, and AirB&B host to make sure that IF we arrived LATE we would have a ride and a way to enter our casita.

Quick start immersion 😍

I am certainly a bit biased. But my take on the flights illustrates a big difference in culture. The originating flights were American based, profit-oriented business. Just overbook the flights and let the chips fall where they fall. The last flights, domestic Mexican, were about service to others. Especially the older population. I am so grateful for this kind and gentle culture.

Lest you think we landed in warm and sunny Mexico I must tell you that despite previous experience, the very first day it rained buckets. Big buckets! This is RARE. We have been visiting for 8 years and it rained more in one day than all 8 years combined.

Oh well, expect the unexpected Hope for the best. And enjoy the ride. Even if it’s a wild one.

Sixty years ago. That is a long time! Sixty years ago I was 9-years-old. It was October and I was trying hard to adjust to a lot of change. And unbeknownst to me, a lot more change was headed my way.

We had recently moved from Winston- Salem, North Carolina to Columbia, South Carolina. Our family of five children promptly dropped to two as the oldest kids headed to college or got married.  The state flower changed…state flag, state motto, state of everything. Changed. Seriously, there’s really no comparison between a palm tree and a dogwood. Crossing that state line might as well have been a trip to the moon. 

October in Winston-Salem was quintessential Fall. All the right colors. You had to wear cozy socks at night and a sweater on the way to school that you could wrap around your waist in the afternoon. Perfection to my thinking. I picked up maple leaves and pressed them between pieces of wax paper to make placemats. It’s the best reason to have an iron! We happily raked up the leaves. Creating massive piles that you could jump into. Or, jump out if you were patient enough to lie-in-wait until someone walked by. BOO!!!!

South Carolina Fall was hot and dry and drab….In my humble 9-year-old  opinion. 

I love Fall. Everything about it. Descriptives like crisp, cozy, colorful, messy, chilly. There are bonfires, pumpkins, hayrides, cuddling. You eat soups and cornbread, candied apples and buy Brunswick stew from the church down the road. The Brunswick Stew was made from recipes so old they used squirrel instead of chicken. And it was cooked outdoors over a fire in huge pots.

The signs are all there. The seasons are changing. It’s obvious. No stopping it. Might as well enjoy it.

And I do! This is amazing in some ways because that October 60 years ago truly changed my life forever. If you have already calculated what was happening in the world 60 years ago you have figured out that we were living through the Cuban Missile Crisis. President John F. Kennedy was shot. And we watched in black and white as the unimaginable unfolded.

I have never been very good at questions requesting just one answer…..black/white, right/wrong, favorite/least favorite, all/nothing. When asked a question like “ what’s your favorite vacation” or “who made the biggest impact on you” I usually flounder about. I just can’t do it. Can’t find just one. But this week I had a surprising experience.

I have been painting barn quilts. Without realizing it I had assembled a wide range of Fall colors. Small jars and tubes of paint covered the kitchen table. I opened the windows to enjoy the fresh air and odors. I forgot to mention how good Fall smells! I asked Alexa to play Eva Cassidy. Being a cooperative devise (most of the time) she began to play Eva Cassidy’s live rendition of Autumn Leaves. Whew! I just stood there, paint brush in hand, and cried. The moment was so big and deep and wide. My sadness was profound. My Dad died in October 60 years ago. Or maybe, just yesterday. I am not sure that time is linear. Suddenly I realized there is one question I can answer. And this is it: If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

I would have grown-up having my Dad there to share it all. Hard and easy. Funny and tragic. Curious and crazy. The days with nothing to do and the days of running around with too much to do.

I don’t think I love Fall despite the fact that my Dad died in October. I think perhaps that this season of dropping leaves and longer shadows is bittersweet because we are reminded that time passes quickly and life is both fragile and precious. And still, as the lyrics say, I miss you most of all when autumn leaves begin to fall.

AND FROM STEVE…..The Tiny House

Build It and….enjoy the process

From Steve

In the morning we write occasionally, and we use prompts. We open the book to a page, read the page, and see what it brings up.

Today’s reading was about Percy, the dog, who is getting up in the years, and had a rendezvous with a neighboring dog, which, luckily did not produce doggy children, but Percy was pretty elated about his experience. Debbie and I both wrote about Rendezvous and here’s my take:

Birds do it. Bees do it. Even ordinary fleas do it let’s do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fall in love.

Apple TV has a series called Shrinking which busts through all the taboos that our culture has about sex. They talk about sex, they talk about what they want. The main protagonist is a black lady named __—— who is recently divorced and is looking for safe dick.

You get the flavor of this bawdy comedy. Everything was casual, and shocking. As if the Puritan culture of America had suddenly become more French.

In my childhood, growing up in the south we didn’t even whisper about sex. During the 10,000 meals that I shared with my family and relatives the topic never came up. Not once. We didn’t talk about intimacy. My adult children didn’t want to hear (from me) about sex when they were growing up. And they don’t particularly want to hear about it now.

Here’s a little family story from early in our marriage…

Debbie and I busted through this taboo one Thanksgiving. I told her to tell a funny story about us starting new careers becoming sex workers. It was a very funny story.

My kids sat there stunned. Debbie‘s kids giggled a bit and then told even worse jokes. That was the last time that we mentioned sex with the whole family.

SPIDER-MAN

Today I was riding my bike through the fields and woods on Blue iHeron Farm …..64 acres we designed so that a number of households would live on 10 acres and leave the other 54 acres for wildlife.

Going through the trees, I met my first spiderweb right across the face. It was a big one because I’ve been away for a week. A few minutes later, biking under the trees I smashed into another large web. Brushing it off my face. I returned home to sit on the couch for my morning time with Debbie. I chose a medicine card from a deck of 52. The image on the card was THE SPIDER. And the reading comes from Native American theology.

“The most important message from Spider is that you are an infinite being who will continue to weave the patterns of life and living throughout time. Pay attention. Don’t fail to see the expansiveness of the eternal plan.”

I shake with excitement. Could it possibly be true? Infinite time and space to be creative! What joy is this! Currently Creativity in this house. Is centered around leaving for Mexico in December, and building a new tiny house. Wonderful!

Infinite creativity beyond the bodily existence is like the first bite of creamy vanilla ice cream. 

One of our greatest fears is scarcity. Not enough time! Or love. Or positivity. Or good health. Or kindness. Or self care and self love.

Could it be that after I drop this body I transition into infinite space and time where the creative spirit continues to grow ah!!! Life is a grand mystery!

Later in the afternoon as I work in the yard, I bump into two more large spiderwebs, they want to make sure that I got the message. 💥

DOG SONGS AT SADIE’S PLACE

Back again! It is finally Fall. I love Fall. For me, the best season of all. I love the small moments when without planning it, some tiny movement or color or sound captures me. All of me focused and singular. I love that moment of disappearing into the wholeness and then sometime later, maybe a minute or five minutes…who can say how long…realizing I have been captured. And there is a sense of timelessness in the capture.

BooBoo loves to nap and cuddle. She’s always ready for a good hike along the Blue Ridge Parkway or Mountain-to-Sea trail. And she is quite content to curl up on the bed near the table where my paints and brushes are scattered. A perfect creativity companion, she likes the music I like and will sometimes thump her tail in rhythmic participation. And she’s also comfortable with my silence. I get lost for hours in this dreamland. Turning colors into patterns. Blissful.

Mary Oliver loves dogs. She even has an entire book of poetry called Dog Songs. Steve chose one about Percy for our morning writing prompt. “Rendezvous.” I listen to the poem and catch myself smiling. This is not unusual. I smile a lot. But this was one of those smiles that had emerged without my acknowledgment. Nudged me into reverie. There’s some kind of chemistry that happens when a stored memory and the physical body run into each other and tah-dah, the deep smile which releases the body-memory. Pure joy!

I show BooBoo my latest barn quilt. A two-sided twisted chicken. She lifts her head for a moment to appreciate my art. Then promptly returns to napping. She snores a bit and then begins to twitch and make little woofing sounds. She’s dreaming. I imagine she dreams of being a puppy discovering a butterfly. The leaping, falling, delighted curiosity. “What’s This?” “What’s That?”

August is hot. After spending July in the mountains it seems especially hot. Although I am not much of a whiner I can make the exception during these dog days of summer. Here, for instance, is what I wrote this morning when Steve suggested we make a list of ten things we could do together today:

1. Stay inside
2. Stay inside
3. Stay inside
4. Get in some water
5. Re-read books
6. Wait for the U.S. Open to begin
7. Watch golf while waiting for the U.S. Open to begin
8. Dream dreams
9. Create a list of cool weather possibilities 
10. Sing songs of blessing & gratitude for air-conditioning & ice-packs

Steve’s list was a lot less desperate. And definitely more fun. I must admit I am especially sensitive to the heat & humidity right now. I just completed over 4 weeks of being held captive by a bad case of the Mysterious Itchy Disease!!!! There were two doctor visits, one round of steroids, 3 visits to my acupuncturist to regulate and boost my immune system, multiple skin lotions, intense housecleaning and treatments for any possible microscopic insects or mites, and one visit to the dermatologist. All this along with new bumps and rashes appearing daily and EXTREME itchiness…especially at night. Or anytime I went outside and started sweating. After a month of speculation and head scratching (a pun and a reality 😜) we happened upon a diagnosis. Although I did have some insect bites I was mostly covered with a variety of rashes. The culprit? An old infection and fungus in my left foot. I find this especially funny because I once spent an awkward evening watching a movie titled My Left Foot with our kids. The condition is called Id. It’s a non-related outbreak. The toe must get well or it will likely keep popping out rashes whenever or wherever. Add my over-reactive immune system to that mix and it’s not fun. However; it is so good to understand the source. Know the next steps. And experience forward progress and a much needed break from itching.

Steve was an incredible doctor/researcher/ housecleaner/bug zapper. He endured my need for a cold house and sheets on the furniture. My skin felt so raw that rubbing against my clothes or the couch was uncomfortable. I practiced keeping a positive attitude. My daily regimen included saunas, aqua aerobics in a salt water pool, lots of liquids and lots of anti-itch applications. My best friend was a giant ice pack. Steve and I both held up rather well during the day. Nights were harder. I listened to a lot of new books. I recommend “Awe” by Dacher Keltner. But whew, we are both ready to put this adventure behind us!

Sometimes you just have to break the cycle. We took a 24 hour Beach Therapy trip to Topsail

Beach Therapy

How many things can go so right? So smoothe? A last minute call secures a room at our favorite 1940’s Topsail Beach hotel. We’re all packed and ready to leave at 7:45 am Sunday morning. No traffic. An early morning nap for me as Steve followed the straight path down I-40 east toward Wilmington. I awoke from my nap just moments before we reached Holly Ridge. I was post-steroids-starving! We were just 2 miles from one of our favorite hole in the wall diners, The Southern Roots. The place was packed but it was nice and cool and I had a bench made from the tailgate of an old ford pickup where I could settle down and enjoy people watching. The Southern Roots is old and simple and a truly perfect place to wait patiently. People smile and call you hon’ and sweetie and bring you extra doses of good attitude along with generous refills. They don’t give away a clue to the fact they have been serving a non-stop, packed diner for 3 hours already. I am filled with gratitude. I am in awe. This quick trip is part of my healing strategy. Awe and gratitude are good medicine.

I order eggs and grits and bacon, and as a splurge a homemade biscuit too. Not too much. Not too little. Just right, and cooked sure enough, true to the southern roots of my childhood. All this joyful easiness and it’s not yet 11:00 am. And we’re not yet on the beach. 

I drive the short distance remaining while Steve enjoys his post-breakfast nap it’s an easy route up and over the bridge, past the bagel and doughnut shops and along Ocean Boulevard. I extend the drive time exploring little cul-de-sacs and dead end roads so Steve can enjoy his napping. I end up in front of our hotel and even though it’s just a bit past 11:00 and our check-in time is 3:00 pm I decide to ask if we can just park in the lot and enjoy the beach until check-in. I leave the car running and Steve snoring while I go to the office.

The door is locked, but I peek in and see a woman in jean shorts and Jimmy Buffet t-shirt….I am wearing jean shorts and a tie-dye t-shirt. We exchange smiles and she opens the door. I say “I am Debbie. I have a reservation but I am not expecting to check-in so early. Could we please leave our car while we hang out on the beach? “

She says….you won’t believe this….

She says, “hey Debbie. I thought you might come early so I asked housekeeping to clean your room first. You can check-in now. “ She says this really nonchalant, like this is the way things happen all the time.

Things do not happen like this all the time. But I’ve come to expect that they do happen. And I might as well expect that they can happen. And just say yes when they happen to me. YES!

I do believe there is an essential balance in the universe. I almost always tell our AirB&B guests at Sadie’s Place they can arrive early and stay late if the schedule allows. I mean, why not?  Doesn’t it feel great when seemingly rigid things like deadlines and check-ins unfold outside the lines of rigidity?  Hell yeah it does!

We take our stuff up to the room in one trip. The room is cold and clean and delightfully uncluttered, but does retain some classic beach art that every North Carolina born human remembers from their family beach trips back in the day.

I am ecstatic. We go straight to the balcony. We are right at the dunes. The beach isn’t crowded, but I realize (and I do know this is a projection) everyone sitting under umbrellas or bobbing in the surf, is happy. Even if it is a projection it seems to be true. And the water. The water looks like the Caribbean. Translucent… shades of blue not often seen in these parts. Where am I? Is this a dream?

No Debbie. This is life. Chill out. Enjoy. 

24 hours of beach therapy was a magnificent idea.

Just being here

Letting myself feel the sense of belonging

Truly being here

The grasses on the small dunes holding space

The smaller beach of high tide

The gentle waves

The sun methodically tracing yesterdays path. Almost, but different

Time here is healing

       Forget the healing

Time here is privilege

       Forget the privilege

Time here is content

       Forget the content

Oneness

   Essence

      Here

         Only here

Now

Asking for directions

Asking for help

Asking for a hug

Asking for sitting together without words

Asking for a favor

Asking if there’s something I can do 

Asking for the impossible 

Asking for the obvious

Asking someone to just love me the way I am

Asking someone to help me become something new

Asking to be accepted

Asking to be included

Asking to be respected

Asking for time

Asking for a second chance

I want to be better at asking

I want to be better at responding

Even when the asking is a small, fragile, almost impossible to hear question

And from Steve……..

CAN WE TRUST THE UNIVERSE?

There are a lot of names for the energetic force that guides this existence. Some of them are not personal deities and they are easier to write about.

I have some older friends that have encountered some really difficult and  painful life situations recently, I experienced a small dose of their reality. Debbie has been really sick for several weeks. And also, a man came to my door with a registered letter saying I was responsible for $3500 of debt on a car I donated. 

I suffered. A lot.  

With my friends I want to reach down and pull them out of the hole they are in, just being in that hole for a short while helps me realize how difficult it is to escape. 

In the school of life I have had many wonderful teachers. from my wife, Debbie, a spiritual counselor, John Breckinridge, great friends and the amazing wisdom that we can now find in blogs, books, audible recordings, even YouTube. 

We need to believe that this universe loves us and supports us. How do we do that when we’ve been slapped in the face with tragedy and loss. How can we believe that tragedy and loss are working for us.  Sometimes our  experience says you can’t trust life.   

It’s a paradox. In order to experience the blessings of a loving, generous, abundant universe we need faith. We need to be able to suspend judgment and dive in full heartedly.

Some of us may need a guru. Some of us can simply turn off the switch of our thinking mind. Some of us need an explanation of how our grasping egoic, mind holds onto patterns and ways of thinking and perceiving

For others a scientific explanation of flight or fight behavior and how it is passed down genetically. Some of us need courage and to believe in ourselves. It’s not easy to do this on our own. We really need the love and support from others to break through these patterns.

My Google Photos keeps sending me memory joggers. Ya know, screen pop-ups saying here’s what you were doing on this day last year. It’s fun. And I realize last year about this time I was making barn quilts with my sisters up at Sadie’s Place and celebrating our birthdays with Lettie. The Little Guy was clean and shiny and waiting patiently in the driveway. Ready to begin an adventure across Canada. Without a map. Without reservations. Without deadlines. And oh what a grand adventure it was!

These past few months since our return from Mexico have been FULL. We always return in mid-April knowing we will have some routine maintenance requirements on our houses. And fully expecting some surprise projects. We were not disappointed by our project-prediction. But we were surprised and exhausted by the twisty-turny walk-on-the-wild-side nature of things. I will spare you the details, but will say that for 6 weeks we did battle with bamboo and ivy, baby birds in the rafters, rats in the basement, mama and baby raccoons in the attic, and additional encounters with fire ants, ticks, rain and humidity.

There’s a song that found me last year. It’s become a bit of a mantra. It goes like this, “hey, hey, hey I’m on vacation every single day ‘cuz I love my occupation.”  Our primary “occupation” is managing rental houses and a mountain AirB&B. And generally speaking we do enjoy it. But then there’s the inevitable slippery slope leading to a seemingly endless string of events that fit in the Important-and-Urgent Box. We prefer to run our business in the Important-but-Not-Urgent Box. This Spring however, ahhhh this Spring…this spring felt relentlessly URGENT. 

Whew!!!! So, accompanied by a lot of anxiety, a bit of depression, and more than a few times of saying, EXPLATIVES we made it past urgent to downright easy-does-it. Now……………………………………deep breath. We can really start singing We’re On Vacation. Switching to our other occupation…..LIFE-LOVING-LIFE. And all its big and little celebrations

BUMBLE BEE MENTALITY – AND THE WISDOM OF LETTING GO

I have been trying to launch our travel stories. We have been writing and talking and enjoying the bliss of cool mountain mornings. I realize today that I really just needed to sink knee-deep into utter non- productivity. While talking about the blog, and as if to confirm my suspicions about writers block, we were visited by one huge bumble bee! A very busy bee. Moving from my journal to Steve’s book and back to my hand. It tickled. Hovering and bumbling as busy bees do. Two things are attributed to the name of Debra, wisdom and the bee. There is balance in the universe. Wisdom tells me to just let things 🐝 To sit with the ahhhh. Not waiting for the ah-hah! Just the ahhhh that moves into the essence of being. Sweet as honey!

The Blessings of Sitting Places

Sometimes I just sits and thinks. And sometimes I just sit.

As we prepare for a month in the mountains at Sadie’s Place I begin by sitting. And while I am enjoying the many virtues of this sitting place on our screened porch at Blue Heron Farm, I imagine myself in other sitting places. The glider on the front porch at Sadie’s (mornings). The rocker on the terrace, facing west (evenings). And the newest place, by the stream at Little Guy Landing.

Often when we travel cross-country we enjoy a wide array of camp sites. And eventually we’ll hear ourselves describing a desire for the perfect little site by a stream with cool mountain air. Tucked into some trees. No internet. No electricity. No people. And we’ll end up grinning and saying “oh, that’s our AirB&B, Sadie’s Place. And that’s when we know it’s time to boogie-woogie back to the NC mountains. 

Last year we LOVED crossing Canada. This year, it’s our own backyard. And the creation of Little Guy Landing.

North Carolina is known as the variety vacationland. 

We accept your invitation North Carolina! Time to hitch- up and head for the mountains. Being cool is oh, so cool!

I Love Right Now

I love this place. I love how easy I feel here. It’s both the beauty and the memories. Everywhere my gaze lands brings me a sense of deep peace. Gratitude is usually the first feeling to emerge. But awe and wonder are there as well. 

At this stage of life it’s easy to lament what didn’t happen, what might happen. Or even feel driven to make something happen.

For me, the gift of this stage is being able to sit with what is.

Right here. Right now. 

From my front porch glider I see shrubs that were uprooted and transplanted from a family member’s yard many miles away. Now, fully at home and thriving. Only possible because of passing time and slow growth. What does this teach me?

I see a stack of firewood that was once a mighty tree that did its part to hold up the hammock by the stream. A sweet place where naps and good books and giggling children could sense its magnificence. Again, only the passing of time and the natural cycle of things could create this still-life moment. What does this teach me?

The porch glider, the hummingbird feeder, the tire swing. All hold their space. And each in its own way invite me to breathe slowly, deeply. And ponder. And smile. 

BooBoo sits each morning on the brick steps where Sadie loved to lie each evening. BooBoo, greeting the new day with all its possibilities in exactly the same place that Sadie laid as she breathed her last breath, at sunset, in peace. I have learned so much observing their ability to just be.

Gratitude, Simplicity, Order. Harmony, Beauty, Joy. Life Loving Life.

AND FROM STEVE. MORNING ROUTINE

Debbie thought you might find my morning routine interesting. It has changed my life. After I wake, I walk down to the mountain creek and take off all my clothes. I am hidden in the foliage of the creek and I submerge myself for about 30 seconds in the cold water. Careful to keep my head under the water. This wakes up my brain.

I don’t dry off and I go into the house with a towel around the waist and tell Alexa to play whatever music is going on in my head. This morning. I said “Alexa play Baby it’s cold outside.” While I am still wet. I embrace Debbie, getting her clothes wet. She protests, and then laughs. She leads me around the dance floor. Sometimes the kitchen and sometimes the living room. 

She always wanted to dance professionally so I like to keep her dream alive. Then we go out on the porch with coffee and talk. Meditate. Journal. Whatever feels right.

SADIE’S PLACE

I had a great aunt in Lexington, North Carolina named Aunt Sadie.   She rarely if ever left home. She lived with her elderly sisters in a big house in the heart of town. She was an old maid, never married. And she was eccentric.

The only time she ever left the North Carolina was to drive with her sisters to the Chicago World’s Fair. When a curious family member asked “what route did you take?” she said, “we went through Mocksville”. That was the next town over… just 20 miles down the road.

We named our cat after Aunt Sadie; eccentric, mysterious, aloof. And we named Sadie’s Place after our cat. Sadie loved Sadie’s Place so much she would hide on the day we were driving back to the farm. At age 17 she wouldn’t die until we took her shivering body back to the front porch of Sadie’s Place where she passed peacefully after a couple of hours sitting in her favorite spot, warmed by the setting sun.

Once a year I tell Debbie we should sell Sadie’s Place.. “It’s too much work for too little money.” 

She pauses and looks at me like she would die if I take away Sadie’s Place. Then I say “You are right. We will never sell Sadie’s Place. “

The sweet capirotada became the most preferred version during Lent. It symbolizes the Passion of Christ: the bread represents the body of Christ, the syrup is his blood, the cloves are the nails of the cross and the cinnamon sticks are the wood of the cross. 

So I return to our favorite panaderia just down the street. Usually I get hot cinnamon buns, but I have heard so much about capirotada. And I believe in our local baker. She’s full of heart and soul. Everything she bakes is total joy! There are two types of capirotada. One with agua and the other tres leche. You can’t go wrong either way. But when I return to NC I will be baking the Capirotado con leche. Serving with coffee. I hope you will join me for a taste sometime!

Semana Santa. Holy Week. Our village streets are crowded. People come from who knows where and everywhere. Many more Mexicans than ex-pats. The malecon is alive with families enjoying slow strolls, playgrounds and ice-cream cones. The lake waters even seem to shimmer with new vibrancy. For fun we just walk the streets never sure of what might happen. Music, passion plays, sweet breads and fruit stands abound. And the colors. Oh my, the colors!

In a previous lifetime I lived and worked in, Old Salem, a historic neighborhood with cobblestone streets and church bells. Not completely unlike the village of Ajijic with the obvious difference being that Old Salem was established by Germanic peoples in Colonial America. And Ajijic is Mexican with Spanish influences. One is Moravian. The other Catholic. Both go all out to celebrate Holy Week. Semana Santa

I have such sweet memories of Easter in our Old Salem home. My children were around 6, 9, and 12 years old. Our dear friend Wendy would spend Saturday night at the house so we could scrub every square inch of the house squeaky clean. The whole city conspires to a high level of cleanliness, order and beauty for Easter! Then we would prepare large urns of coffee, ham biscuits, sausage and egg casserole and sugarcake. While we were making preparations at my house volunteers at the church were scrambling hundreds of eggs for the band members to eat in the wee hours of Easter morning. People come from all over the world to gather in Old Salem for the Easter Sunrise Service.

Small groups of band members are assigned locations throughout the city and play liturgical music in a call and response manner. This goes on all night. Even in the often cold and damp spring weather. Slowly the small bands work their way closer to one another and eventually converge at the Home Church. Just before dawn the minister appears on the balcony of the belfry and declares “The Lord Is Risen”. And the gathered congregation responds in unison “THE LORD IS RISEN INDEED!!!” Everyone; the minister, the band, the congregation make the final procession to the graveyard to conclude the service as the sun rises over the gleaming white headstones. All of which had been scrubbed clean on Saturday and each decorated with a voluptuous array of Spring flowers. Nothing short of spectacular! This is an amazing tradition. Only possible because of hours and hours of volunteer efforts. Generations of families have shared these preparations.

Because our children were young and our house was located right beside the cemetery we would have sleepovers on Saturday night so the parents could go about their various duties. While the kids slept Wendy and I would clean. Then we would bundle up and scurry over the stone wall to participate. And following the service we would scurry back over the wall into our yard where hot coffee and food awaited. Thete’s a certain kind of satisfaction associated with the tiredness of an all-night volunteering. The first year we did the post-service gathering we had about 25-30 guests. By the third year, by then a tradition, there were 75 or more guests. Surprisingly, some of the guests had followed band members over the wall to what they thought was an extension of the Sunrise Service! All were welcome!!!

Once again, as I wander these cobblestone streets during Semana Santa and enjoy memories of Easter along the streets of Old Salem I am reminded….there is so much the people of this world have in common and it is our differences that serve to enrich us.

Peace and Blessings to you friends 🌸

And from Steve, The Giveaway

A Story of wealth and poverty in Mexico.

The historical background is the feudal system in Europe, which was brought to Mexico by the Spaniards. It meshed perfectly with the Aztec feudal system where wealth was concentrated in the hands of a few powerful families. 

In this system. It was the “patron“ the wealthy owner who was the caretaker of his workers. If a worker was sick, or hospitalized, if a family member needed help to pay for an expense ,the patron was expected to step in.

While the patron reaps the benefits of the workers, he was also responsible for the family of the workers.

In this way, the Canadians and Americans who live in and visit Mexico, especially in this area, feel responsible for the workers we encounter. We leave extra tips for the maids, when someone approaches us at a restaurant selling something we give them a coin or two. The gardeners, maids, berry sellers, musicians who board the busy buses to play, are partially our responsibility. We leave more generous tips for the waiters who might be making a dollar an hour. Our favorite roadside taco stand host is baking us a cake on Wednesday. It’s Francisco who works his day job as a construction worker and at night greets us with delicious tacos.

For old-timer permanent residents giving is more complex. They are wiser and have sometimes made mistakes around giving.

The right amount at the right time for the right reason. How do you know you’re really helping? Material gifts can also disempower!

One Mexican gardener told his boss.  We don’t  envy you. We feel sorry for you guys.  Where are your families?

Cultures are complex. How do we bring understanding and peace to our hearts and the world? Hmmm 🤔

In the Navajo tradition, cleanliness of the body is very important.part of culture   And this cleanliness also applies to a way of being. 

One needs to live in harmony with the beauty of life. The Navajo land is  rugged mountains, and arid dryland with miles of nothingness. 

The people are materially poor, but they don’t have a great value on material wealth. It is a land of customs. If you were to visit a neighbor in a remote area, you might beep your horn when you arrive. They would come out of their Hogan structure and  wave.You would stay in your car. In five or 10 minutes they would come out again and that meant they were ready for a visit.

The conversation would begin when you introduce yourself by your clan, your mothers clan, your father‘s clan, and their parents clan. Your host would do the same. 

Then they might offer you a Coke or some coffee and you would have a few minutes of social conversation.  Then  the purpose of the conversation would begin. Often there would be long silences. You don’t bother to acknowledge  to someone or tell them you heard what they said. It is assumed that you have been listening. 

In order to stay in a state of harmony with life occasionally you might have to arrange for a Sing. A Sing is  three or four days of rituals led by a medicine person. They would create a ritual to bring you back in the harmony.  It would be songs, chants,sandpainting. In the old days, there were at least 60 different types of rituals for different life situations.  Not much different than paying a therapist $125 for 15 or 20 visits. 

I am fascinated by this way of living.  It was a culture built out of an oral tradition. Most of the Navajo tradition was lost in the 1860 wars when Navajo people were killed in battle or relocated.

I don’t have a lot of experience with Ritual. . The closest thing I have experienced was in the Episcopal church in the book of common prayer. 

There were rituals for all of the life’s  passages: death, marriage, birth, morning, evening, communion, sickness, and celebration. These rituals were handed down from the 1662 Prayer Book. 

In terms of stress and confusion, rituals have a way of holding our psyche in good places. I personally like parts of both traditions. 

Native traditions are more nature based.  The book of common prayer is attuned  more to the life of Jesus and our relationship to God and the mystery of the Spirit. 

I plan to follow parts of the Navajo Way when I die.

First of all, you don’t die in your own home because your ghost becomes trapped inside and can wreak havoc  when you’re gone. So it’s best to be die outside, It is suggested you be buried with a bunch of money and food for four days, your hair washed, and your shoes on the wrong foot. 

That way if your ghost tries to follow you he will get confused.  I  particularly like the idea of being outdoors when I pass. Debbie if you are reading this don’t worry. Our prenuptial agreement states that you get to die first. 

In terms of ghosts , I will definitely wear my shoes on the wrong feet. I’m not taking any chances.

Also from Steve, MARRIAGE

Here’s a great clip from THE PRINCESS BRIDE. TAP the http link BELOW picture to open🤞

https://youtu.be/nEe1cTDbXHU

Marriage is not for the faint hearted. Joseph Campbell wrote: marriage is an ordeal. The way to negotiate marriage is to invent a third partner in marriage named the relationship. Then you begin to realize that you are not giving into your partner when there is a disagreement, you are surrendering to the god/goddess of relationship.

 While not every relationship situation calls for sacrifice, this strategy make sacrifices more palatable and peaceful.

In the US, John and Julie Gottman did scientific study of relationships. They said they could predict after a 10 minute interview if a marriage was sustainable or successful. 

You do have to wonder why in the world would someone spend 40 years of their life trying to find the secret to successful marriage. 

Some ideas they discovered were that instead of focusing on working out conflicts and finding solutions in marriage, they focused more on regulating conflicts and making them more peaceable. Slower is better. 

They also found out that every marriage has its unique style and that impeccable therapeutic communication was simply another style. A better bet was focusing around creating a 5 to 1 ratio of pleasant to unpleasant experiences in relationship.

The.Tao de Ching keeps it simple

Stop thinking, and your problems will end. What’s the difference between success and failure?

The poet, David Whyte noticed that we pick our partners not because they will make us happy. Instead, we pick partners that know how to push our buttons and elevate our suffering. It’s our job to enjoy the mystery and beauty of this kind of challenge and transform it. 

Its doable. The practice is called thinking from the end. A couple holding hands and smiling at one another with the certainty and emotions of love. More than faith. The certainty that our intentions carry power. That the seeds of our thoughts when focused will manifest. That our universe is generous and abundant.

These are some of the teachings that have helped our relationship. We are both honest and stubborn. We are now celebrating our 5000th morning of laughing and sharing intimate connection with each other,

I just made up those number by the way. Another trick that I learned from Debbie ….the facts of life just aren’t that important.🎶🎶🎶😊

Along those lines….from Debbie, WORDLE

It is true that Steve and I have very different thought processes. A funny example…Always, I mean always, if we are sitting in a parking place he will back the car out the exact opposite direction I would have chosen. It helps to know that we have different approaches. We often use our differences to advantage. Playing Wordle is one way we combine our differences. Steve is analytical. I am intuitive. We both want to guess the word in no more than 3 tries. There’s a lot of give and take and a bit of frustration trying to do Wordle together each morning. We’re just so different! But we feel so god when day after day we beat the odds and share the triumph! Here’s one of our recent favorites.

David Whyte, my poet extraordinaire, often speaks my heart. Even as Steve and I tramp around rather aimlessly, we do spend time each morning with focused attention. How can we be of service? How do we support one another’s growth and happiness. How do we practice kindness. What kind of courage do we need at this time? How can we laugh more and stress less?

A few minutes ago I randomly came across these words (haha. as if I believe these gifts are random 😜) from David Whyte. I can’t say it better. But I can truly appreciate his clarity and wisdom:

WE ARE HERE by David Whyte

“We are here essentially, to risk ourselves in the world. We are a form of invitation to others and to otherness, we are meant to hazard ourselves for the right thing, for the right woman or the right man, for a son or a daughter, for the right work or for a gift given against all the odds. And in all this continual risking the most profound courage may be found in the greatest risk and the greatest vulnerability, and perhaps, the greatest prize of all, the simple willingness to allow ourselves to be happy along the way …”

OH, but there is more……

“It is both fascinating and rewarding to approach happiness as a core practice and a choice: to rest deeply and calmly, even amidst the necessary losses of an individual human life, and find already lying within us, not a naive, forced generation of false positivity, but an attentive sense of continued extraordinary surprise at the preposterous, gifted, overwhelming and astonishing nature of every day existence”.  David Whyte

May the force be with you!

Or as David says….

May you find continued extraordinary surprise at the preposterous, gifted, overwhelming and astonishing nature of everyday existence 🦋

Yesterday we spent a lovely morning participating in a fundraiser for the School for Special Children. An amazing home tour made possible by a huge number of volunteers. We were lucky to get tickets. And even luckier that our volunteer driver was one of our dear friends. Getting a glimpse Behind The Walls is a treat. Not only a look at the architecture and gardens, but also art in every possible medium. We toured 4 homes and met lots of fun people along the way. Now we get to use our imaginations to create our own new spaces upon return to North Carolina!!!

I love what’s behind the walls and gates here. First the surprise, then the intimacy and beauty. Over and over again I happen upon the yet-to-be-revealed. I am so drawn to discovery. What will I find today? What’s at the end of the rainbow? It’s not that I don’t appreciate grand architecture and formal gardens, but my soul is more apt to leap when suddenly coming face-to-face with that which was tucked away or barely noticeable.

I wonder if this isn’t also true of my inner world as I sit quietly or meditate or listen to music and poetry and some small bit of beauty draws me into new awareness.

First the surprise. Then the intimacy. And sweet connection.

And from Steve, SILLINESS

An accomplished bagpipist living in the boonies of Kentucky, was asked to play at the funeral of a homeless man who had no relatives. The funeral was out in the sticks, and on the way to the funeral the bagpiper got completely lost. He arrived hopelessly frustrated one hour later to find a motley group of men standing in a field around a hole. He rushed to the scene and asked them to gather round and began playing the sweetest, most soulful and mournful music. After 15 or 20 minutes, he ended with playing and singing Amazing Grace as tears rolled down the faces of the gathered men.

The bagpiper was equally moved. 

After the tears had fallen. One of the men said 

I’ve been putting in septic tanks for 40 years and I’ve never seen nothing like this.

When I was little, I spent hours alone. Both my parents were quiet, introverted, and my sisters were also introverts. So I spent hours and hours alone in my thoughts. 

When I was much older a friend told me, Steve your antenna are turned inward. That was a stunning, but helpful piece of information. On one hand, I had access to a still, small voice inside of me. Some call it the voice of God. Others, the voice of spirit, or the invisibleTao or inner wisdom.

On the other hand, I had a monkey mind, egoic voice that was also persuasive, I often couldn’t tell the difference between the two voices.

Eventually I would suddenly realize that this egoic voice that constantly talked about me wasn’t real. In fact, there was a pretty good chance that I wasn’t real, and therefore the thing I most obsessed about didn’t even exist. The passing of a close friend this year drove that point home and opened me wide to the infinite, timeless nature of existence and the silliness of it all.

What makes something feel magical? I suspect a big portion of magic-making resides within. I believe in our ability to create magic. To become magicians. The term “magician” can carry a bit of skepticism, as if the magician is a con artist. Not true. Magicians are skilled artisans. Proficient in helping us see the magic. What fun it is to have those in our life who can use imagination, childlike wonder, beauty, honesty or even a candlelight dinner to conure up the unexpected. In other words, the ability to set the stage and invite magic to happen.

Ajijic is designated a “Pueblo Magico”. Jalisco (the state where Ajijic is located) has 9 magical towns. Not easy to be known as magical. Even Puff the Magic Dragon understood this to be true.

There are 6 specific attributes required for the designation of Pueblo Magico:

• Natural beauty.
• Cultural richness
• Traditions
• Folklore
• Historical relevance
• Outstanding hospitality

I have limited experience outside Jalisco. But I can say with certainty that Ajijic is magical in so many ways. It checks every box. Tops lots of lists And casts a spell. Here are a few pictures. Never could I capture the whole story.

This morning I took a short walk to sit in a nearby garden. There I knew I could find a quiet place to ponder what’s been magical in my life. There’s quite a lot! True to my expectations I found an unoccupied corner of paradise with a chair near a fountain. I could hear gentle laughter from a nearby cafe. The call and response of birds that seem to love the early morning breeze as much as I do. This, I think is exquisite. And before I could even sit down, from out of nowhere a friend emerges with a welcoming smile and a cushion for the otherwise less than comfy chair. He asks, “Can I join you for a moment?” We talk of life and mostly of music. He’s a new friend. An entrepreneur, musician, pickleball player and true believer in the daily mysteries that come our way. A kindred soul.

We talked for less than 10 minutes and as I returned to my pondering and scribbling of words it occurred to me; life is just magical. It is! And the world is full of surprises and unanticipated magicians.

I can’t do card tricks or fool anyone with a slight of hand. But I am able to see magic. Appreciate it. And practice setting the stage for others to find the magic in their world. What is your magic? Claim it and enjoy!

Today we make our next move. From Casa to Casita. I love being able to use “ita” for just about everything;, perro/perrito, mesa/mesita. Not grande/pequeño…more subtle. A simple exchange of the larger version for the smaller version. Steve and I always cycle back to the smaller version. And somehow that move creates a larger experience. Go figure!

So here we go again. Picking up roots and moving from what now feels like home. This Casa is even named Casa de Los Abuelos (house of the grandparents) and headed for Chata y Chuchito’s GuestRoom. We’re trading our 3-bedroom house in a Guadelejara Weekend neighborhood for a one-room walk-up in the heart of town. Drifting again. Not really sure how and where we will be. Exciting, right?  Ready to trade Yes & No for a whole lot of Maybe. I enjoy this aspect of transition. I truly love the other-worldly!  

These are both very Ajijic-Mexican barrios. And, they are very different.

One is mountainside. One is lakeside.

One is spacious and tranquil. Wide streets lined with majestic trees. Park benches among beautiful shrubs. Birdsongs

The other has narrow cobblestone streets alive with roosters, horses, music and small tiendas on every block. Dogs nap on the sidewalks. Church bells.

One is near the bike path. The other is near the malecon. I could go on….

One is green and lush with groundskeepers who perfect their art daily. The other finds colorful murals next to barbed-wire fences and broken down cars. You see many drab walls and formidable gates that seem lifeless and unfriendly. But then the gate opens a bit to reveal the most amazing garden and terraces with fountains.

On my daily walkabouts there is always the hint of surprises to be revealed. Aromas or a tiny patch of color draws my attention and if I stop for just a moment I find something that seemed hidden. Some small discovery. 

As I write I hear the gentle chip, chip, chip of the stone mason creating a new wall. Singing as he works. I feel the breeze from the window and feel like a bird perched in the tree just beyond my chair. I smell the tortillas. The church bells tell me that soon I will hear children laughing.

Since we spent months together in our teardrop camper we can joke about our downsizing from casa to casita. In truth, this isn’t actually a casita. Just one room. But really, it does seem that the windows on a new world are flung wide open. Lovely. 

I truly appreciate these two barrios. Grateful for the opportunity to gain glimpses into different worlds. And realize how much I have to learn.

HUMAN FOLLY From Steve

150 years ago people were desperate to find a shortcut from the East Coast to the Gold Fields of California. 40 years earlier. Ferdinand de Lesseps a Frenchman had led a team of thousands to construct the Suez Canal opening the Far East to Europe. It was a financial boon for France, and made.De Lesseps a national hero. 

De lessups was one in a million with an easy warmth,charisma,athleticism, and drive to manifest in this new age of machinery. He brought honor and zillions of dollars to France. 

A few years later he began to feel his manifest destiny was to do the same in Central America.  To unite the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. 

Believing in his own infallibility, his  ability to lead, he led the charge to build a canal across the isthmus of Panama, a much more daunting project: across mountains, roaring, rivers, over unstable soils , and untreatable diseases. He ignored the advice of engineers and experienced travelers knowledgeable about this jungle area in Central America. Instead, he went with his hunch that the same method used in the deserts of Suez would work in the jungles of panama. He believed that his will power and the advent of new technologies  would triumph up over, poisonous, snakes, jaguars, malaria, yellow fever, high mountains,Mudslides and raging rivers. Seven years later he was defeated.Mother nature had its way. In his quest, his charismatic appeal for funds encourage millions of Frenchman to invest their life savings in his company. 

In todays dollars billions of dollars were wasted, small family investors lost everything, more than 25,000 people lost their lives to disease. 

His ability to articulate a dream of greatness and sacrifice hoodwinked his own soul and an entire nation. When it was obvious in the first year or two that the project was troubled, he paid off the media  not to write anything negative about the project.

Ferdinand de Lesseps really wasn’t a bad man. He had no interest in money or profit.  His  drive for national pride and to be heroic turned into ambition and blinded him. 

He was unable to listen to those that disagreed with him, specifically almost all the engineers that looked at the project.

On a smaller scale every day we tangle with our own egos. Every day is the challenge not to take the easy way of repeating the past, every day is the opportunity to live in integrity, to do no harm, to live peacefully, and contentedly, to be well. 

Of course human folly is plentiful in todays world. The Tao imagines the world perfect in all its imperfections,human good, human evil, and unconsciousness. The universe is forever out of our control.

Everywhere I turn adventure beckons me. This morning (as a writing prompt) Steve randomly opened two magazines and laid a finger down. In the local magazine the finger-point found Total Body Care Spa on Ocampo. I know this place. One of a gazillion body care establishments in Ajijic, or more broadly speaking, “lakeside”, However, it is one of a few that I actually know something about. If you mention it in a room of 10 expats 6 will give you a first-hand account….

Best Spa Ever. 

I haven’t tried it, but maybe I should. 

The second magazine was National Geographic where Choco Canyon laid out its history before us. Amazing. Again, around here it’s easy to book that adventure. And find many people who can share stories and pictures and words of encouragement for making that one of our next adventures. We tend toward random, not booked. 

I’m not much of a group tour person. But there is something wonderful about shared experiences. The sense of community and inter-dependence. When you strike-out into the unknown “together”. 

My absolute favorite adventure is bringing together groups of friends that don’t know each other and watching the exchange of life stories. Listening as the conversations become more lively. This type of “community building “ sets me aglow! In this endeavor I am abundantly blessed. Good people with open hearts are perhaps my greatest natural resource.

We spent this past week with a collection of friends from North Carolina. Some knew each other well. Some, not at all. They were staying in 3 places. It was the week of Fat Tuesday so festivities were evident. Some folks arrived without money. Others without phones. And most without basic Spanish. We were a band of gypsies!  Graced by good fortune at every turn. By the end of the week we had great stories to tell. And some pretty hilarious adventures. 

I love this. For me it’s reminiscent of having young children and getting to see everything through their wonder-filled eyes.. The things we do every day become magical. The bus rides, thermals, restaurants, murals, parades, music and yes, some fireworks! Playing pickleball with other folks from just about everywhere. It’s a big playground!

On the closing night of the Northern Lights Music Festival we were fortunate to have tickets for dinner and music under the stars at Ajijic’s oldest hotel, La Nuevo Posado. Randomly seated at our table were  couples from South Carolina, North Carolina and Toronto. Everyone at the table talked freely with everyone. People even moved from seat-to-seat so they could enjoy one-on-one conversation. Life experience flowed like water. And with what is no surprise to me we found we have much in common. 

Random?  I don’t know. 

Chance? Maybe. 

Whatever it is that happens when Steve opens a magazine or book and picks a page. Or we drive our camper across countries without a map. Or we sit down to dinner with strangers that quickly become friends. I love it!  The crazy adventure called life. 

So what will I do tomorrow? I don’t know. But I think it will be a random encounter with an amazing world. I need to go hug a tree. Or maybe climb it and nap in the branches

And from Steve, Past, Present, Future

Too dry, too cold, too hot; the great sweep of southwest mesas in the 4 corners area, gauged by Canyons seems marginal for human occupation.

The Anastasi were pueblo cliff dwellers and when archaeological‘s and historians make up stories about them, they talk about their architecture, pottery, lifestyle and mysterious disappearance in the 1400s leaving behind beautiful pottery and baskets as if they just went out for a morning stroll. 

What will they write about us in 1000 years? When skyscrapers stand empty and they encounter  junked computers and smart cars. Will our cities be ruins of buildings and empty heaps of concrete broken up with vegetation pouring through the cracks?

Will we be victims of a meteor crash that wipes out human civilization, or maybe an alien culture from somewhere in the universe will be living in our condos.

We are temporary caretakers and inhabitants of the earth. We have survival-wired brains that keep us alive, adapting to the changes in life and imagining that we will never die. Our most popular politicians tell us we can return to the past, all the while our cultural landscape is changing at warp speed

70 years ago in small town North Carolina. I didn’t know there was such a thing as gay people. At  25 I was living in a house with a gay couple and at 65 I was helping to run a camp for teenagers… many who claimed they were androgynous in nature. 

Like the Anastasi, our version of the human tribe may disappear and we will be lthe dinosaurs, 

what is sometimes bizarre for me as I age is the question “what do I do next.”

By 70 my bucket list was magically complete 

relationships ….check 

children …………check 

grandchildren ..check 

great neighbors check 

lots of fun ………check 

I sometimes feel like the musicians where every day is another curtain call and encore.  Or is it more like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? You Keep living each day until you get it right. 

I read from an Indian guru about letting go of attachment to this life and then I wake up and it’s another day. Debbie sometimes asks what shall we do today, and I think for a moment… and then I say “I don’t know!!!”

The Northern Lights Music Festival features two weeks of incredible and diverse music and dance. We chose ALL JAZZED UP with the Richard Underhill Quartet. Wow!!!! What to love most? The saxophone (Richard Underhill), the drums (Tim Shaw), the guitarist (Reg Schwager), the bass player (Joe Phillips), the featured soloist (Katie George). Not to mention the 2nd session featuring strings and harp. This stuff is just too good to believe. Google these artists. Enjoy

Okay, on Thursday night we went to the Auditorio for the jazz concert. Then on Sunday night we were truly fortunate to attend a house concert. Beautiful. Intimate. First-class musicians. And a sunset view. Oh my!!!

From the sublime to the everyday…Ajijic traffic! Give me a mirador, a soft breeze and a superb margarita. No need to rush.

And from Steve:

TALKING TO THE COSMIC WAITER

The struggle between good and evil goes on in this low vibration culture. Watch the evening news, pick out a television drama, look at the history of genocide in this world.  On a lesser scale on a personal level we struggle as humans with the joy of conscious action and the pain when we fall short. 

In our blog, we  choose to write about gentleness, kindness and contentment in culture.  We have picked two geographical areas where we experience a high degree of that kind of spirit   The prairies and mountains of Canada and a former fishing village on Lake Chapala in Mexico.  The hearty souls that live in the hinterlands of Canada are vibrant resourceful people. 

Besides the great climate in Mexico we experience a gentle cooperative culture which has produced a great expression of art and beauty, and deep family connections… especially with the older ones in the family. 

In order to create a heart of gentleness we need to plant seeds of contentment, warmth and caring. It takes an unwavering commitment to joy and gratitude and peace-fullness.  All my teachers have emphasized how affirmations and thoughts affect our interpretation of reality. Here are a few affirmations I rely on as I grow:

The  older I get the better I feel. I am a beautiful, wonderful man. When I place my order to the cosmic waiter I get exactly what I want or something better.  This world is a world of abundance…… plenty of money,  plenty of love, plenty of nurturing.  I am the perfect partner for Debbie and she is the perfect partner for me.

Affirmations are key for me in order to nourish these seeds of abundance, contentment and joy on a daily basis.

We just returned from a week in Guadalajara. Such an amazing experience. The Guadalajara Country Club has been offering this Sr. Tennis Tournament for 39 years! It is easily the best tournament you can imagine. The club is beautiful. Even has an equestrian center so you can whisper to horses between matches. And several restaurants offering views of the putting green or children riding scooters by the pool. The food is yummy and reasonably priced. They give you lockers and morning fruit and afternoon snacks. Pretty much anything you need they will gladly provide. Also a fun gift… this year a navy vest to wear if you want to look proper. Not our usual hippie style, but I must say I loved the vest on Steve! Nice with his Mexico haircut.

But what really sets this tournament apart is the hospitality. I never feel more welcomed and appreciated. So who are the winners? All of us! Forget the age, language, culture, and status or ability differences. At the end of the week…After sharing time on the courts. On the dance floor. And around the table. I am sure we are all in One Big Circle of Winners. Thank you to my partner, my friends and opponents, and especially to the Guadalajara Country Club.

Well done! See ya next year.

AND FROM STEVE: SOUL TRAIN

I was never one for pictures. I felt a little superstitious. I read once that some indigenous cultures felt  having your picture taken was losing a little bit of your soul. 

Then cell phones happened and pictures of everything were being snapped constantly. So that thought abated when I saw the pleasure that people had taking photos. Still in most photos I am not smiling😊. 

There is something to the idea that we lose parts of our soul along the way in life. Especially growing up, I once paid someone to do a soul retrieval. I was curious what would happen. Soul retrieval is sort of a treasure hunt for the lost parts of your soul. The person hunting is hopefully a bit psychic. I must say that I was more skeptical than curious. 

It’s an imaginary journey into caves and closets and hidden corners in the world to look for lost parts of your soul, 

if I was looking for a lost parts of my soul, I would first look for joy…what stole the idea that I can be joyful in my life. I would look for deep listening… what stole my ability to listen. Well I would definitely look for celebration. How did I learn that celebration was a suspicious activity. And how about sensuality?

I guess if I’m going to do any soul retrieval I think I’ll do it myself. 

I’m going to look in the belly of a dragon for my sense of peace. I’m going to look in a John Travolta 1980s disco for my sense of joy. I bet my ability to listen is hidden in a Buddhist robe and some smokin’ hot sensuality is probably in another pocket of that Buddhist robe as well.

I love my morning this morning. I bathed in love and self-acceptance. I was glad for the day, I let myself be me. And welcomed my truest self to the day.

Let’s start with lyrics from Landon Pigg, and then we’ll wander around a bit. Love In A Coffee Shop:

“I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I loved so much. 

All of the while, all of the while

It was you”

Did you ever go to a retreat and the opening “get to know you” activity was this…

“Who would you like to meet in a CoffeeShop and share casual conversation? What questions would you ask? What would you most like to contribute to the conversation?”

Okay, I confess I have been the retreat leader who posed this. So I have the advantage of having a prepared answer. And in the past few days here in Ajijic. I am reminded why I like this exercise. Here we go…

I have a few favorite coffee shops in the world. And one of them is here in Ajijic. Just a few steps from the main Plaza. Cafe Grano isn’t easy to spot. Not showy or trendy in any way. Just one of many mostly open-air gathering spots. Great coffee and therefore, great aromas. I am partial to the latte. And sometimes a postre.

It is here that I have fallen in love in a CoffeeShop. And so this is a place I allow my imagination to bring together a few special souls for a cup and conversation. For company today, I choose Lao Tsu, Ali Maya and David Whyte. Fun, right?

Lao Tsu says, “sorry I am late, but a good traveler is never focused on arrival” “I lost my way for a bit, but here I am, now” “Are the cookies good?”

David Whyte responds, “this is what I love about the conversational nature of life”. “I haven’t had the cookies, but the light in here reminds me that everything…everything is waiting for you”. 

And Ali Maya hums a little chant I can’t resist joining,

“I am forever remembering that everything, everything, is here to teach me how to love”

I order a second round of lattes for everyone. This is going to be a conversation to remember.

It’s Sabado…. Fin de Semana. We must find some Love in a Panaderia

And just to round out the day, Comida Love at Chili Verde