THE SPIRIT MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

This may seem like a fairytale to you.  

That’s okay. 

This might challenge your spiritual norms. 

That’s okay. 

This may make you question my stability. 

That’s okay. 

But, here’s the thing. I know a good thing when I see it. Feel it. 

And this is a good thing ♥️

So most of you know that Steve and I had some morning spiritual practices. Not set in stone, but fairly routine in approach. In the last 6 weeks or so we always included a meditation which concentrated on cutting strings of attachment to earthly concerns. The chant that accompanies this meditation says,

“Nothing on earth can hold me 

Rise oh my soul in freedom. 

Nothing on earth can hold me

Rise oh my soul in freedom. 

Rise oh my soul in freedom,

Nothing to fear anymore. 

Rise oh my soul in freedom,

Nothing to fear anymore.”

My kids and I can smile a bit as we recall that about a week before Steve passed  he asked someone to hand him his phone. He then asked the phone to tell him the status of his NFL team. It was good news. His team was winning. But he laid his phone down and said, “why am I attached to this?  I want to let go of these earthly strings” And he did. 

But a week after he passed I was suffering. Missing him so badly. I cried. I said, “Steve, I am so sad, overwhelmed. I can’t feel your presence with me. I want to feel you. How do I do this?

Enter the Balloons. 

That day I’d spent some good moments with friends. I was settling into my quiet home. I sat in the corner of the red couch to cry a bit. Write a bit. 

Then something unexpected happened. 

At the Pie Party following Steve’s Celebration of Life a bunch of balloons were tied to our Li’l Guy camper. So sweet 💕

At the end of the day our friends cleaned up the pies, put away the leftovers. And kindly placed the balloons in our house. Near the foot of our bed. Where they stayed for several days. 

Until the moment I settled into the couch needing some sense of presence. 

I looked up at some point and saw the balloons floating from the bedroom toward me in the living room. I smiled. And thought, oh there’s a draft,  or door open. I checked. No. 

So I talked to the balloons. Said thank you for joining me. And went into the kitchen to make a bit of supper. 

I cooked. And looked up to see the balloons floating into the kitchen. Come on now, you have to smile at this, right???  I did. 

I decided to video the balloons. They followed me into 3 different rooms. I laughed!  I said, “do you want to dance with me?”  I put them back in the bedroom. But alas, they returned.

And so I danced. And said  “ I am  going to watch tennis, wanna come along?”  And put the balloons back in the bedroom near the tv.

I had a call from a friend and went back out to the couch to talk. I closed my eyes and guess what, when I opened them the balloons had traveled again. And stopped right before me on the couch. 

It gets better!  2 days later I noticed the balloons were unable to move. Two of them were too heavy. 

So I cut the strings (of attachment) and the remaining balloons rose to the ceiling. 

Where they remained until they settled by my pillow. Brushing my face as I slept. 

I felt a sense of peace move through me. 

I still grieve. I cry. I miss the quiet and silly ways we shared time and space. 

I know how long this grief journey will be. 

And I know. Really know. I am not alone. 

There are some truths that reside in our souls.