Besame Mucho

CONFIDENCE, CLUMSINESS AND COURAGE and IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL… from Debbie. FEELING HAPPY and MAN WHO PAINTS ON CHEAP PAPER …from Steve

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Confidence, Clumsiness and Courage

This is my 8th winter in Ajijic. You might think I’ve done this enough to move rather flawlessly into new space and time. Nope! That’s not the way it works for me. I deal with loss of confidence, random clumsiness and a daily need for an extra courage.

We have favorite parts of the village to live in, but we rarely stay in the same house two years in a row. So we arrive not really knowing the lay of the land, and certainly without knowledge of the particulars. There are sets of keys. Old keys. Not the kind you buy at Lowe’s. There are gates and walkways and always lots of things have changed. It’s never a surprise to learn a favorite restaurant has disappeared and then pops up again a few blocks away. I say often “oh, I thought it was on this block” and scratch my head.

Each time I leave our casita I must check:

???? Keys, phone, wallet, water bottle, sunglasses, reading glasses, bike helmet, which key works which lock???

And each time I return I have to re-visit the list to make sure nothing was left behind…in the restaurant, on the bus, on the court 🤷‍♀️

Everyday I forget things, lose things, misplace things. I search my memory for words or phrases I knew last week. I mistake 20 peso bills for 200 peso bills. I walk west when my destination is due east.

I think these experiences are to be expected. But I am finding that as I age my confidence wanes a bit. That’s the courage part. 

Take the keys for example. I have to tell myself for at least 3 days to just believe. 

I believe that today I will not lose my keys. 

I believe that today I will use the right key and it will be less clumsy than yesterday. 

I believe that at the end of the day my keys will be attached to my backpack and ready for tomorrow’s adventure. 

This need to bolster my confidence is rather new to me. And truthfully, I love the challenge. But I want to remember to stay engaged and resist the temptation to either excessively doubt my abilities, or worse, stop trying and “play it safe”.

It’s okay to be clumsy. It’s okay to forget. It’s okay to take time and find the way. Or, if needed, create a new way.

It’s Beginning To Feel…

What a wonderful morning! My little Christmas corner is cheerful…a rosemary tree with fairy lights and dangly earrings for decoration. Most of you who know me will be surprised to learn I have dozens of pairs of earrings. Most of them purchased here in Ajijic while walking along the streets and malecon. This is a source of income. An easy way to contribute to the very local economy. And now, a great way to decorate this little tree. Corelli’s Concerto de Noel is playing and there’s no need to hurry for anything. Hot coffee. And plenty of space for morning time with Steve. I love this way of starting the day.

Last night Pam and I went to a Christmas concert. It was a small theatre with nothing but good seats. A very merry, well-designed set complete with stockings hung by the chimney with care. There are LOTS of expats around here with big talent and tons of theatre experience. The primary cast of 6, mostly over the age of 70 expats were delightful and made complete by the addition of two Mexican singers (who sang in Spanish). A young man (maybe 25) sang with great heart and bravado and  a young girl (maybe 14) with showstopper qualities and the sparkling eyes of innocence and joy. I was blown away!!!!

Tears came to my eyes and rolled down 9my cheeks often during the performance. And oh yes, I was ever so grateful to be invited to sing along at times.

Yes, yes, yes!!!! 

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas 🌟

These two photos are from the main plaza in Ajijic. Literally around the corner from where we are living in December. It’s like being in the center of the world. Everything happens here. Family time begins each evening around 6:00 pm. Who knows what will happen? Music and food to be sure. Art, dance, laughter, beauty. Feliz Navidad 🎄

And From Steve….

FEELING HAPPY

So much of my joy in life involves letting go. A few years ago, my Taoist book started talking about dualism, and how dualistic concepts are formed. I got so excited when they told me I could let go of dualistic thinking, such as good and bad, happiness and misery, spiritual and unspiritual. Right and wrong.

Just let go of it. My soul rose in freedom, and I felt such peace inside me.  And excitement. 

One of my friends wrote me and said you can’t trust happiness, and I immediately wanted to argue with him and say you’re wrong. Happiness is fun. It’s OK to enjoy it. Blah blah blah… and I realize, that he was right.  You can’t trust happiness like so many of our human concepts. You need to let go so you can get a glimpse of this mysterious wonder of the universe. 

Even in my meditations, when I always let go of my to do list, my relationships and heaviness in my heart, I have another letting go. When things in our life start to work they are on the way tobecoming a concept. Meditation is the way. Exercise is the way.  Eating good foods is the way.

I go back to letting go of everything and trying to live simply and with integrity. I remember “Don’t lose yourself in ideological fogs of your own making.

I fell into a dreamy sleep at 25-years-old and I awoke again at age 50. I was living in a half built house with a lot of couches. Apparently I loved beautiful couches, and I filled my living room with 4 thrift store couches. My brother-in-law told me I was a failure. You have underachieved. 

Awakening  from this dream I found a world where, preparing for retirement began at 30 with things like 401(k) and the like, and I was poor and barefoot.

Oh, well, I thought, I may have missed some opportunities. I will now start working. I will move from being to doing !!!

And for the next 25 years I worked hard at business and now at the tender age of 75, I’m a free man ready to enjoy my longevity. 

So I am beginning to draw and paint again. I read a story about a woman who took up guitar at the age of 90. Her music technique was lacking but full of soul. She was pleased.

I have no formal training. Like the locust I emerge every seven years to draw or paint shamelessly.

I pull out a pencil and sketch paper and some paints.  I call my art MAN WHO PAINTS ON CHEAP THIN PAPER

I won’t be mistaken for Rembrandt or anyone else when I show my paintings to people. 

They are either horrified or amused …..or as my first grade teacher said when she looked at my Stick Figure drawings.

“That’s nice.”