August is hot. After spending July in the mountains it seems especially hot. Although I am not much of a whiner I can make the exception during these dog days of summer. Here, for instance, is what I wrote this morning when Steve suggested we make a list of ten things we could do together today:
- Stay inside
- Stay inside
- Stay inside
- Get in some water
- Re-read books
- Wait for the U.S. Open to begin
- Watch golf while waiting for the U.S. Open to begin
- Dream dreams
- Create a list of cool weather possibilities
- Sing songs of blessing & gratitude for air-conditioning & ice-packs
Steve’s list was a lot less desperate. And definitely more fun. I must admit I am especially sensitive to the heat & humidity right now. I just completed over 4 weeks of being held captive by a bad case of the Mysterious Itchy Disease!!!! There were two doctor visits, one round of steroids, 3 visits to my acupuncturist to regulate and boost my immune system, multiple skin lotions, intense housecleaning and treatments for any possible microscopic insects or mites, and one visit to the dermatologist. All this along with new bumps and rashes appearing daily and EXTREME itchiness…especially at night. Or anytime I went outside and started sweating. After a month of speculation and head scratching (a pun and a reality 😜) we happened upon a diagnosis. Although I did have some insect bites I was mostly covered with a variety of rashes. The culprit? An old infection and fungus in my left foot. I find this especially funny because I once spent an awkward evening watching a movie titled My Left Foot with our kids. The condition is called Id. It’s a non-related outbreak. The toe must get well or it will likely keep popping out rashes whenever or wherever. Add my over-reactive immune system to that mix and it’s not fun. However; it is so good to understand the source. Know the next steps. And experience forward progress and a much needed break from itching.
Steve was an incredible doctor/researcher/ housecleaner/bug zapper. He endured my need for a cold house and sheets on the furniture. My skin felt so raw that rubbing against my clothes or the couch was uncomfortable. I practiced keeping a positive attitude. My daily regimen included saunas, aqua aerobics in a salt water pool, lots of liquids and lots of anti-itch applications. My best friend was a giant ice pack. Steve and I both held up rather well during the day. Nights were harder. I listened to a lot of new books. I recommend “Awe” by Dacher Keltner. But whew, we are both ready to put this adventure behind us!
Sometimes you just have to break the cycle. We took a 24 hour Beach Therapy trip to Topsail
Beach Therapy
How many things can go so right? So smoothe? A last minute call secures a room at our favorite 1940’s Topsail Beach hotel. We’re all packed and ready to leave at 7:45 am Sunday morning. No traffic. An early morning nap for me as Steve followed the straight path down I-40 east toward Wilmington. I awoke from my nap just moments before we reached Holly Ridge. I was post-steroids-starving! We were just 2 miles from one of our favorite hole in the wall diners, The Southern Roots. The place was packed but it was nice and cool and I had a bench made from the tailgate of an old ford pickup where I could settle down and enjoy people watching. The Southern Roots is old and simple and a truly perfect place to wait patiently. People smile and call you hon’ and sweetie and bring you extra doses of good attitude along with generous refills. They don’t give away a clue to the fact they have been serving a non-stop, packed diner for 3 hours already. I am filled with gratitude. I am in awe. This quick trip is part of my healing strategy. Awe and gratitude are good medicine.
I order eggs and grits and bacon, and as a splurge a homemade biscuit too. Not too much. Not too little. Just right, and cooked sure enough, true to the southern roots of my childhood. All this joyful easiness and it’s not yet 11:00 am. And we’re not yet on the beach.
I drive the short distance remaining while Steve enjoys his post-breakfast nap it’s an easy route up and over the bridge, past the bagel and doughnut shops and along Ocean Boulevard. I extend the drive time exploring little cul-de-sacs and dead end roads so Steve can enjoy his napping. I end up in front of our hotel and even though it’s just a bit past 11:00 and our check-in time is 3:00 pm I decide to ask if we can just park in the lot and enjoy the beach until check-in. I leave the car running and Steve snoring while I go to the office.
The door is locked, but I peek in and see a woman in jean shorts and Jimmy Buffet t-shirt….I am wearing jean shorts and a tie-dye t-shirt. We exchange smiles and she opens the door. I say “I am Debbie. I have a reservation but I am not expecting to check-in so early. Could we please leave our car while we hang out on the beach? “
She says….you won’t believe this….
She says, “hey Debbie. I thought you might come early so I asked housekeeping to clean your room first. You can check-in now. “ She says this really nonchalant, like this is the way things happen all the time.
Things do not happen like this all the time. But I’ve come to expect that they do happen. And I might as well expect that they can happen. And just say yes when they happen to me. YES!
I do believe there is an essential balance in the universe. I almost always tell our AirB&B guests at Sadie’s Place they can arrive early and stay late if the schedule allows. I mean, why not? Doesn’t it feel great when seemingly rigid things like deadlines and check-ins unfold outside the lines of rigidity? Hell yeah it does!
We take our stuff up to the room in one trip. The room is cold and clean and delightfully uncluttered, but does retain some classic beach art that every North Carolina born human remembers from their family beach trips back in the day.
I am ecstatic. We go straight to the balcony. We are right at the dunes. The beach isn’t crowded, but I realize (and I do know this is a projection) everyone sitting under umbrellas or bobbing in the surf, is happy. Even if it is a projection it seems to be true. And the water. The water looks like the Caribbean. Translucent… shades of blue not often seen in these parts. Where am I? Is this a dream?
No Debbie. This is life. Chill out. Enjoy.
24 hours of beach therapy was a magnificent idea.
Just being here
Letting myself feel the sense of belonging
Truly being here
The grasses on the small dunes holding space
The smaller beach of high tide
The gentle waves
The sun methodically tracing yesterdays path. Almost, but different
Time here is healing
Forget the healing
Time here is privilege
Forget the privilege
Time here is content
Forget the content
Oneness
Essence
Here
Only here
Now
Asking for directions
Asking for help
Asking for a hug
Asking for sitting together without words
Asking for a favor
Asking if there’s something I can do
Asking for the impossible
Asking for the obvious
Asking someone to just love me the way I am
Asking someone to help me become something new
Asking to be accepted
Asking to be included
Asking to be respected
Asking for time
Asking for a second chance
I want to be better at asking
I want to be better at responding
Even when the asking is a small, fragile, almost impossible to hear question
And from Steve……..
CAN WE TRUST THE UNIVERSE?
There are a lot of names for the energetic force that guides this existence. Some of them are not personal deities and they are easier to write about.
I have some older friends that have encountered some really difficult and painful life situations recently, I experienced a small dose of their reality. Debbie has been really sick for several weeks. And also, a man came to my door with a registered letter saying I was responsible for $3500 of debt on a car I donated.
I suffered. A lot.
With my friends I want to reach down and pull them out of the hole they are in, just being in that hole for a short while helps me realize how difficult it is to escape.
In the school of life I have had many wonderful teachers. from my wife, Debbie, a spiritual counselor, John Breckinridge, great friends and the amazing wisdom that we can now find in blogs, books, audible recordings, even YouTube.
We need to believe that this universe loves us and supports us. How do we do that when we’ve been slapped in the face with tragedy and loss. How can we believe that tragedy and loss are working for us. Sometimes our experience says you can’t trust life.
It’s a paradox. In order to experience the blessings of a loving, generous, abundant universe we need faith. We need to be able to suspend judgment and dive in full heartedly.
Some of us may need a guru. Some of us can simply turn off the switch of our thinking mind. Some of us need an explanation of how our grasping egoic, mind holds onto patterns and ways of thinking and perceiving
For others a scientific explanation of flight or fight behavior and how it is passed down genetically. Some of us need courage and to believe in ourselves. It’s not easy to do this on our own. We really need the love and support from others to break through these patterns.
Steve & Debbie’s Grand Adventure 